The Great Workout However You Want You can be in your boxers, your wedding dress, your dress pants, your douche-like shirt from Abercrombie or in spectacular speedos. You can be clean and showered or smell like rotten cow ass. You can use bands, chains, free weights, machines or milk the benefits of your privacy by jerking the ShakeWeight. It really doesn’t matter… because when you workout from home, anything goes! No Judgement From Others You might trip over your own foot, drop a dumbbell, fall off the Swiss Ball, have shitty technique or make faces as if someone defiled your rectum. It doesn’t matter, because no one will be around to laugh at your retardedness… so you can workout judgement free. Sometimes, not having 3rd party eyes on your ass can be a very good thing. Other times though, it can keep you from being a tool. You decide where you fit in. No Driving Commute Why is it that 99% of people who drive to the gym cannot park for the fucking life of them? Is this some common theme? I can understand horrible driving post workout… you know, like when your arms are giving out after an intense session and the steering wheel feels like you’re turning the wheels on a rusty horse carriage? Yeah. Then we have the price of gas; god damn shitnickels… that’s all I have to say about that. No Morons Attempting To Give You Advice The other day I had some guy come up to me and suggest that I buy a special mouth guard which will “increase my power by 20%”. I told him to shoo off and that you can get the same result by biting down on a big piece of gym or investing in a $10 mouth piece. Then there are the back seat trainers… these fags are so proud of their lack-luster body that they can’t help but give you a piece of their idiotic thought patterns. “Hey bro… you shouldn’t be benching that heavy for your size, it’s bad for your eblows and shit”. I think listening to toolbags is bad for my everything… and shit. The Not-So-Great No Hotties To Check Out Let’s face it… if you see a solid hottie shaking her (or his) booty around the gym, you’re gonna stare. At least for a moment. You’re never NOT gonna look. And gentlemen, let’s not lie out of our asses, half the reason you hit up the gym is so you can presumably pick up a hottie if you had the chance. Still, even if you don’t manage to ravish her with your seductive prowess, a nice round ass and a sweaty upper body complimented by a sports bra just makes your day, does it not? I thought so. It’s one of the things I miss when I’m working out at home – which is why my wall is now covered with “motivational” posters. Distractions Cellphone, home phone, your dog, your cat, your bitch… er, I mean your significant other, kids, TV, internet and a whole bunch of other nonsense that’s within a 10 foot reach can have a huge impact on the efficiency of your workouts. Shit I know I can’t help myself… I’ll pump out a serious set and the computer is right there. Or maybe I’ll get a Tweet or an email and next thing you know, 90 second rest has turned into 190seconds. God damn it! Equipment Choice Depends On Your Cash Flow Let’s not kid ourselves; if you want to workout from home, you’re going to have to invest in equipment. Sure, bodyweight exercises are great but once you can throw around your own weight like a pair of coconuts, it’s time to bring on the big guns. And if you can’t afford it, then you’re almost shit outta luck. I say almost because bags of potatoes can get REALLY heavy. Overhead bag press. Do it! The Kitchen. It’s Like, Right There! *lift* *lift* *lift* “Hmm… left over pizza?” *lift* *lift*… 10 minutes later… *nom* *nom* *nom* “Mmmm… left over pizza!” *nom* *nom* *nom* ‘nuff said.

Why Working Out From Home Is Both Great And Dreadful

I swear if I get one more email about why people should/shouldn’t follow the 6 meal a day program, I’m going to lay down a serious ass beating. On top of that, I always have some tool sending me links to articles and proof that eating 6 meals a day isn’t the way to go and that it’s an old myth. (As if I don’t keep myself informed) Ridiculous. So I figured it is time to shut their ass up. Yes, I’ve read the studies. Yes I know people that don’t need to eat 6 meals a day and yes I have personally been eating 6 meals a day for many years and the results speak for themselves. But the effectiveness of this method lies in more than just caloric math. Half the battle for most people, as I’ve found, is psychological. And while the effects of eating 6 times a day can be debated from a biologic/nutrition standpoint, it’s psychological awesomeness is something you just can’t fuck with. So on we go. I’m going to give you 6 reasons why you should (if you aren’t already) be eating smaller frequent meals instead of 2-3 big ones. 1. Better Energy Levels Do you know one of the most taxing processes for your body? It’s digestion of food. Ever had a huge ass meal (like say, steak and potatoes) only to find yourself vegetating on the couch for a few hours after? Or ever had the strong urge to fall asleep at work because of the ginormous lunch you stuffed down your throat? Yeah, there’s a reason for that. Huge meals take a huge amount of time to digest, which means all the energy is going towards digestion. Why the hell does anyone think that this is a good idea? Specially in today’s fast paced world where we barely have time to sit and think? Eating smaller meals will prevent you from dozing off and will keep you up and alert. I don’t need RedBull to pull all nighters. All I need is some oatmeal, peanut butter + jelly and some half-caf coffee. Consuming those foods in small proportions every 45 minutes will keep me up all night long. Don’t believe me? Go try it. 2. Controls your blood sugar levels For diabetics this is obviously a huge benefit, but even for those of us who aren’t suffering from any types of illnesses, eating frequent meals that are balanced will keep your blood sugar levels at a constant throughout the day. There will be no retarded and un-needed spikes and more importantly… no tranquilizing dips in your energy. Every few hours you will be taking in a small amount of carbs (and if you watch what you take in, it will be quality stuff) which will also aid in retaining lean body mass. Oh yes, you read that right. And you thought that carbs were the enemy… pfft not. Gluconeogenesis is the enemy. 3. You’ll feel hungry LESS often Lets face the obvious facts here: If you are eating often (say ever 2 hours or so), it really doesn’t give your body a chance to trigger any hunger signals… even if you miss one out of the 6 meals. But on the other hand, lets say you have a big breakfast that carries you over to lunch at which point you realize you are short on time so you eat something light. Fair enough. But you’re not eating often and therefore your last meal, dinner, is like 6 hours away. I can pretty much guarantee that your stomach will begin making some nasty noises as you trek your way home. Last time I checked, no one really likes this feeling and the noises are quite embarrassing. So eating frequently will at the very least… prevent you from looking like a tool. On a side note: I’ve noticed that over time your body will adapt to the type of eating method you choose. Since my body expects food every 2 hours now, it automatically bitches if I haven’t fed it in due time. It’s like having an auto alarm clock… and this is awesome. I usually don’t have to think about eating, I just get hungry every 2 hours. So for those douchebags that keep telling me that eating 6x a day requires too much effort… think again. It requires effort only up until the point your body adapts and it becomes a habit. Autopilot is what your body is best at, take advantage of this feature. All it takes is the right type of programming. 4. More options This one was a revelation for me… an elusive obvious I never even picked up on until I decided to write this article. I realized that ever since I started to eat frequently, my cooking skills have improved which has led to me eating and trying out a variety of different foods. I mean, if you have to eat 6 different meals… why would you eat the same shit over and over? It’s boring and pathetic. I have so many options now and I look forward to grocery shopping and preparing my quick meals. When I was like the average person eating 3 times a day, my daily food log looked boooring. There was no real variety unless I went out to eat. Having 6 slots to fill will literally force you to come up with or look up different foods. Your pallet will expand and you will be introduced to stuff you never thought you would like. 5. Most people end up eating LESS when meal frequency goes up! This one really nails the coffin on the “you don’t need to eat frequently” bandwagon. From all my data and experience that I have, I found that clients who were eating less frequently were actually consuming MORE calories. At first it may sound confusing… I mean, doubling the amount of times you eat food should increase your overall caloric intake right? Wrong. It’s psychology my friend. If your goal is to lose weight, and I told you that you just HAD to eat 6 times a day… guess what would happen? You would automatically make damn sure that each meal was balanced and light so that you don’t overeat and get bigger (at least after a bit of guidance and training you would). Let me give you a sample breakdown from a client’s log. I won’t reveal any personal details since I practice strict confidentiality. Breakfast: 600 calories Lunch: 550 calories Snack: 300 calories Dinner: 700 calories Total: 2150 calories in a day Now after discussing their goals, training level and their weekly activity level, I found that their actual daily caloric requirement was only 1700. So you can see why they were over weight. I’ve always said that caloric math isn’t 100% accurate, there are too many real-world factors to make fat loss a simple number crunching venture, but it’s still a decent way to get an overall picture of the problem at hand. Below is what their new meal log looked like. (Note: This was during the first week without much push from my end. I didn’t even tell them the amount of calories to aim for, just gave them the macronutrient break down and it resulted in awesomeness) Breakfast: 300 Snack: 250 Lunch: 350 Snack: 200 Dinner: 300 Snack: 250 Total: 1650 Hmm… isn’t that interesting? I told this person to eat more times in a day, yet they really ended up eating less. It’s not only the caloric deficit that resulted in their successful fat shredding, it’s also the macronutrient breakdown… which was properly adjusted this time around by moi! And it’s not only fat loss, those who want to get bigger and pack on muscle… eating 6 times a day is the fucking standard. STANDARD. I know many guys that compete and none of them eat less than 6 times a day. Some even chow down on food 8 times a day… which is frankly a bit much for me but hey, these guys compete and putting on mass is of major importance to them. This is the beauty of the high frequency method – it can be effortlessly adapted to your situation. Just adjust the calories and the macronutrient ratios and off you go. 6. Because I said so… Couldn’t really think of a sixth reason but I had to come up with something to stay loyal to my catchy-ass title. So I figured this was as good a reason as any. If all else fails and you hard-asses are still contemplating why you should eat frequently… it’s because I fucking said so! You can also mention it to your friends. “Dude, why the hell are you eating so often?” “Becuz man… FJ said so!” It will get you instant respect, a raise from your boss, loyalty from strangers and you’ll get laid way more often. How can you argue with that?

6 Reasons Why You Should Eat 6 Meals A Day