Oh, no—Selena Gomez, Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Brothers may have made a serious boo-boo when they recently traded in their purity rings for fellow teen star booty! Why's that? Well, supposedly, couples who wait 'til "I do" to do it are "happier with the quality of sex" and enjoy "a stable, happier marriage" than couples who have sex before they take their vows. Or so says a new study in the Journal of Family Psychology. Researchers had 2,035 married couples participate in an online assessment called "RELATE" and found that people who waited until marriage to jump in the sack: * rated sexual quality 15% higher than people who had premarital sex * rated relationship stability as 22% higher * rated satisfaction with their relationships 20% higher Even if a couple waited a while to have sex, if they had slept together before marriage, period, the benefits were cut in half. It may be that couples report greater satisfaction and sexual quality if they’ve waited because the extra time gives them longer to learn about each other and develop the skills necessary for good relationships, said the study author, Dean Busby, Ph.D., a professor at Brigham Young University. If these findings sound like the sunshine, lollipops and marshmallow key to lasting love, wait one minute, because there's a catch. The research was based on a questionnaire conceived and interpreted by experts at Brigham Young University, a Mormon school that preaches conservative values, or in other words, is run by religious folks vehemently opposed to premarital sex. So, while this study may be intriguing to some—not to those of us who would find it unwise to buy or even lease a car without a test drive!—it's crucial to consider the source of the findings.The Church Convinced Me Not To Have Sex Of course you have to learn how to communicate outside of the bedroom in order to create a successful, satisfying bond. No one celebrates their 50th wedding anniversary one day if their bond is only about being hot and bothered. But most of us want to at least know whether or not we can connect with a partner on a mental, emotional and physical level—with good reason! That's because a sexual bond is central to a well-rounded, solid foundation for love. Without it, you're probably just stumbling into "death do us part" in blind, ignorant bliss.

Study: Delaying Sex Makes For Better Sex, Marriage

Pinkee here~ Basically there are two reasons. One is the more common reason that most people probably think about when they ask themselves this question. It’s a physiological response. Blood flows to the genitals, both male and female, when sexual excitement occurs, and the intense feeling of pleasure that orgasm brings is the sensation that results when all the extra blood that’s been building up gets released at once. Then there’s the other reason. This is the one that I really want to talk about. It’s like Tantra 101: orgasm feels so good because when you experience orgasm you are one with God. Now, don’t freak out everyone. I’m not talking about an invisible man in the sky that can punish you if you do bad things. I’m talking about God, Source, All That Is, whatever you want to call it. I think God has gotten a bad rap. God has become very uncool. We have been told many times to believe that God doesn’t want us to have sex, and that God basically doesn’t want us to do anything that’s any fun at all. No wonder God has become so unpopular! Nothing could be further from the truth. Here’s the secret no one in organized religion wants you to know: God is pro-sex. God wants us to have sex. God is actually the definition of cool. God created every cool thing in the universe, including sex. God wants us to have joy and pleasure and fun. And the only reason we don’t do it more often is that we are creating resistance to all that good stuff. When we experience orgasm, we have released all the resistance (the negative thoughts, the negative feelings, etc.) and there is nothing left separating us from God. Whether we are having an orgasm solo or with a partner, sex and orgasm can be a path to God, to enlightenment. Now get out there and work on being more enlightened!

Why do Orgasms Feel so Good?

Well, you're damned if you do, damned if you don't. Apparently, whether you're having sex alone or with someone else, you're gonna go blind. Two PhD students at U.C. Berkeley with a good sense of humor and a blog found a tale in the PubMed database about a man who would go temporarily blind every time he had sex. Every time the guy would (ahem) finish, he experienced vasoconstriction, which narrowed the walls of his blood vessels and in turn, restricted the flow to his eyes, causing him temporary blindness. Oddly enough, this happened only after sex, never after physically exerting himself in any other way. The anonymous patient was treated with a vasodilator to widen his blood vessels, and the condition did not repeat itself. Hopefully this was before some opportunistic partner ran off with his Xbox while he was lying there in post-coital bliss / utter darkness.

Man Plagued With Sex-Blindness

Oh, hey, Lemondrop readers. I'm writing to you from the Mariana Trench–level depths of a reasonably significant hangover. The reason I tell you this is because I think I have some helpful information for those of you out there who also like to take a drink now again: The best way to combat a particularly rough day after is to Think Positively. So, today's column is all about positives. Lady positives! I was reminded yesterday, while out with friends, drinking said drinks, of the many small marvels of the human female. There was a girl a table over, with a black and white dress and Christina Hendricks proportions ... and we were all just collectively floored by her. Even my gay friend whispered, "That woman's body! It just won't quit." And it wouldn't. It would not quit. I should have said a word or six to her, but I was too timid and then she was gone, her curves filing themselves away in my brain parts. Anyway, it got me thinking about the other, less obvious stuff that men love about women (that is, besides the way they look in tight black-and-white dresses). Because there are tons, and whenever guys are writing about women (I'm just as guilty as the rest, on occasion), it's usually telling them what they're doing wrong. Even my female editor seemed suspicious. (She was all "OK, crazy, why don't you make a list, and then I'll tell you what a repulsive pervert you are," because she's a reincarnated Viking who grows powerful from my tears.) But I was determined. So, without further ado, here are 10 Things That Only Women Can Do That I (and Most Guys in Their Right Minds) Love. The Casual Touch Oh, God, I love this so much. When, out of the blue, a girl will place a hand on your arm while she's laughing, or pick something out of your hair, or fix your collar. There's something so divine about an unexpected, casual, sweet touch like this. It's so beautiful and tiny and makes us feel all warm and happy. Of course, if it happens below the waist I fire six-shooters into the air and madly dance in place like Yosemite Sam. The "Real Drink" Order When a gal orders a scotch or a bourbon, I'm pretty much on Orbitz looking for our elopement flights. I've caught some flak for mentioning that a vodka tonic is a shameful drink, and I might back away from it now as I've had a few this summer and there is something nice and uncomplicated about them, but as girl drink orders go, they're a bit unoriginal. But when a woman orders up something brown, I'm all "I will make sure your diamond is not a conflict diamond!" Also, add to this a lady who insists on picking up a round. That's always great. I have no problem paying (chivalry isn't dead, according to those Chivas ads), but when a girl is like, "No, you got the first few, Slim, I got this one," I'm all "My parents will totally help your parents find the right caterer." Being Good in a Crowd A huge turn-off for me is when a woman acts possessive or turns into a clinging mute in the company of others. But! This is a column about positives, and therefore this is about how much I love when a woman I'm with is comfortable around new people without getting eerily quiet and hovering around the periphery of a conversation with that creepy mute focus that you see in movies about women who eventually go nuts and telekinetically murder an entire town. She's a fine actor and probably a nice woman, but I don't want to date Sissy Spacek. Yet you gals out there who tackle social situations, the "screw it" crew who just go with it and don't shrink like people say violets do -- you're tops! Liking Blowjobs Note: I didn't say loving blowjobs. The line between liking blowjays and loving blowjays is seeming like you enjoy tuning a guy's horn and seeming like you enjoy posting clips on YouPorn of you taking on 10-piece Mariachi bands. Enjoying the act -- yay! Moaning about much you looooove it when a guy palms yours ears? A bit too much. Girl Smell How the hell do you do it? I take showers, I use shampoo, yet how come bluebirds don't follow my scent when I walk outside? The way girls smell is one of the wonders of science, right next to dark matter and Hayden Christensen's still getting speaking roles. You used my shower and my 2-in-1 shampoo and still your hair smells like hope and passion fruit! HOW? The Way You Casually Destroy Other Women I have plenty of lady friends and, to a woman, they're pretty much sweet and smart and sane. Yet if they don't like another woman at the party / bar / corner office, they effortlessly morph into Ian McShane from "Deadwood": "Oh, that chick is swine, swine, I wouldn't @#% that #$!@ with a #@!*&." Oh well, thanks for the clarification, sweet little Anne from Georgia in the sundress who usually says, "Aw, fudge!" when she stubs her toe. Elbows I don't know why, but lady elbows are hilarious and cute. Look at your little elbows! What are they doing there? Oh, just introducing your forearm to your bicep? How pleasant! All That Crap in Your Bag Some dudes might be all "Why do you have to carry so much with you everywhere in that ridiculously huge bag?" But not me. I love girls and their ridiculously huge bags and all the crap that's in them. Just yesterday I was pawing through a friend's purse in a "needless item" fugue. You should have seen the stuff she had! If someone burst into the bar and was all "Quick, I require a sewing needle, 20 pounds of glossy magazines, a deck of cards, not one but two combs, matches, a heavy-flow tampon, a tungsten rod and Serbian President Boris Tadic's autobiography -- and step on it!" I could have produced said items from my friend's bag. It's 100 degrees outside, and she's willing to lug around a metric ton of nonsense? Brilliant. The Fact That You Think That Air Conditioner Is Too Heavy to Lift Adorable. Accents All of them, really. Hey, I know you can't help it if you don't have one, but you're also the same gender who will sleep with just about any Australian dude and most Brits, so live and let live, ladies. If I meet a gal and she's got any kind of accent -- Southern, Italian , Baltimorean -- I pretty much turn into an erection with eyebrows. I think we should all just fall in love with people who have different accents than we do. I could listen to a chick with a French accent read the shooting script to "Garden State" in full exaltation mode. I could go on and on. Women on motorcycles, women on congressional subcommittees, women on "The Price Is Right" who excel at Plinko ... it's really endless. So, next time you see me checking you out, realize it's not just about your boobs and butt, it's also about the way you passive-aggressively flip magazine pages during sporting events.

10 Things Women Do That Men Love

We all know that the vibe of a restaurant can tip the scales between a breathtakingly romantic evening and an embarrassingly awkward first date. Similarly, and even more importantly, the atmosphere of your bedroom can make all the difference when it comes to your love life. Once you become aware of this, a lot of what I'm about to tell you is simply common sense. For example: most would agree that nothing says "not sexy" like the presence of your mom or your little cousins so, naturally, get their pictures off your nightstand! Which brings me to tip number one... 1. Choose Imagery That Puts You (and Him) in the Mood As every ad executive knows, imagery is extremely powerful when it comes to influencing our actions and moods. With this in mind, look at every photo and art piece that you're currently displaying and ask yourself, "Does this make me feel sexy/romantic/sensual? Or ... not?" Some good choices to display might be: -a piece of depicting a couple embracing (such as "The Kiss" by Gustave Klimt) -an earthy landscape with warm colors and/or flowers -a photo of you and your partner during a romantic evening or getaway -anything that feels sexy and reminds you of romance and togetherness 2. Go Heavy on the Warm Warm and earthy colors open the heart and activate emotional connection. That's why it's best if colors such as red, rust, orange, pink, terra cotta, brown, yellow, gold or beige predominate in your bedding choices. If you're a big fan of pure white sheets, at least add touches of warmth in the accessories (throw pillows, duvet, or blanket). Cooler colors like green and blue can be cooling to the emotions and passions. 3. Be Touchy-Feely A faux fur or chenille throw, a plush area rug, or a satin throw pillow or two can add a luxurious flavor to our amorous adventures while getting us out of our heads and into our bodies. 4. Flatter Yourself Have you ever been to a strip club? I have. The lighting was superb, and made every dancer look like a goddess no matter how many curves she may or may not have possessed. Why not treat your bedroom the same way? Flatter your body and illuminate your goddess-ness with soft and ambient lighting. You might consider: -a strand of white twinkle (Christmas) lights -strategically placed red lightbulbs -candles 5. Put Your Work Stuff Somewhere Else You have to focus! Bedrooms are for intimacy, romance, and rest (all three of which work together synergistically for best results). Items that remind you of work can be distracting and subtly yet powerfully detrimental to the desired mood. 6. Diffuse Aphrodisiacs Love potions are real things! There are a number of natural essential oils (available online and at health food stores) that are not only relaxing and stress-relieving, but are also known aphrodisiacs. Put a few drops in an oil burner or diffuser to reap their benefits. Some good choices would include: -jasmine -vanilla -patchouli -ylang ylang 7. Promote Equality and Create the Space for Two Whether you currently share a bedroom or not, if possible, have a nightstand and a lamp on each side of the bed. If there's no room for nightstands, see if you can otherwise treat both sides of the bed the same way. This promotes feelings of equality and respect in your relationship, or if you're single, it's the fastest way to find someone new to claim the other half.

7 Ways To Set The Mood For Great Sex